Monday, September 3, 2012

Chris Okotie and the marriage institution

Rev Chris Okotie is in the news again. After a burst of the usual excitement and fun at the Sunday service at the Household of God on June 24, Okotie calmly announced that he and his latest wife had separated, irreversibly. According to the report, many were shocked at the announcement, indicating there were no visible signs of strains in the relationship. At CA! we are very reluctant to comment on this development lest someone gets the impression that we are kicking a man already on the ground – noting we had written briefly but poignantly and critically on the relationship when it was announced four years ago ( However reading Stephanie Henshaw’s facebook journal on the situation makes it clear that the issue is not just that of a private couple passing through trying times, but rather the continued and increasing abuse of God’s holy gift of matrimony in our society; and the consequent, inevitable fruits of gall being delivered to people who actually wished for a different outcome. Whereas the Scripture is quite clear on the fact that God is not mocked; and everyone must reap exactly what they sowed!. Stephanie Henshaw, quoting Scriptures all the way, cuts the picture of a loving wife, kicked out by her lover. “Fifteen years we have been the closest friends, I prepared all his meals for ten years including the four years we were married, the day I was asked to leave I prepared his meal, served it and I left,”, she bemoaned on the facebook account she opened just after the incident. Stephanie was blunt: she is being accused of being a witch and operating with mermaid spirit. She described this as a lie being orchestrated by other ladies “within the church” who are keen on replacing her in the matrimonial home. She however reminded the obviously plural group, “My going can bring one Mrs. Okotie, but what happens to the rest of you? ” She quipped. Which brings us to the core of the matter: the idea that marriage can be contracted and dissolved repeatedly ad infinitum, and with whoever - all as convenient, is fuel for the raging inferno that is tearing down the very basic fabrics of society, just as the Bible says will characterize the endtimes. The Scriptures is clear that God hates divorce, that even if divorce may be permitted (for the “hard-hearted” people, especially on the ground of adultery), those who marry a divorcee are considered adulterers, etc; (Mal. 2:16, Mat 19:9, 1 Cor 7:11). However these clear scriptural positions are fast becoming relegated to mere opinions that can not stand the rigours of “post modern times”. Whereas the Apostle Paul was clear in saying he wasn’t expressing personal opinion. : “And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord…..” he wrote in 1 Cor 7:10. No wonder the pressure of the same “post modern times” has no difficulty sweeping away homes build on such compromised foundations. Rev Chris Okotie happens to represent one of the most extreme schools of views on marriage. In his work of fiction, The Last Outcast, (which he insists is a direct revelation to him) he actually made a very strong case for polygamy (see CA! Vol * no *). In announcing Stephanie Henshaw as his new wife four years ago, Rev Okotie was quite blunt as to the basis of his choice: she is a woman of breath-taking beauty! Nothing else seemed to matter. The unfolding situation then should be food for thought to people who think the biblical counsels concerning marriage have become old-fashioned. Although it is difficult to believe the reports that Rev Okotie has actually announced he would be wedding again come December, since “it is not good that the man should live alone”; such a move would certainly be consistent with his adopted theology and attitude on marriage. It’s all part of man exercising ‘dominion’ over the woman! We hope the Church will note this. The direct and indirect assault of Satan’s goons on marriage is formidable enough. Expecting a successful blissful marriage while despising and trifling with the instructions of the Designer of Marriage is just not going to work. Thank God for the millions of God-honoring marriages in the world. These, and not rhetoric, are the unassailable evidence that God’s ideas work, and are in our best interest. Those who discountenance the Scriptures will forever keep wondering like Stephanie, what they did wrong. According to her “I submitted to the end. I did all I was asked to do, Lord.…. I wait, because I know in time God will make known what has gone wrong.” Might we suggest that attitude towards the marriage institution has far more important implications than many people seem to realize? Post Script To further complicate matters for Revd Okotie, [a young church member] is claiming to have had 3 abortions for the Pastor – raising another issue entirely, adultery. The lady said she decided to spare the fourth baby who many swear is a carbon copy of the pop-star turned preacher. The baby-girl, now about 13 years would therefore be Okotie’s only known child, since none of his two marriages to date produced any biological issue. As we have written before, it seems clear that a lax attitude to sex and marriage always leads down the slippery slope incorporating so many of the issues represented by Bill Gates’ new sexuality drive – infidelity, promiscuity, abortion, masturbation, homosexuality, pedophilia, incest, bestiality, etc, etc. These issues have now assumed epidemic proportions, and no amount of prudence and sobriety can ever be too much in these end days


Expressjodi said...

Great expectations

Life is full of surprises, particularly if you are a newly - wed . Expressjodi you a glimpse into the future and tells how to be prepared to face married life

Love is all about romance whereas marriage is a lot about responsibility. When two different individuals from different backgrounds live together, differences of opinion on things like spending habits, career, having and raising a baby, sharing household responsibilities etc, are bound to crop up, the key is to broaden your outlook and accept all the changes that marriage brings, and to remember that marriage is a momentous change for you and your spouse. And, fear not, over a period of time, you will find a way to make it work.


With marriage comes a whole lot of responsibility. "From the time you ger married, the decisions you make will not be yours alone, but your partner's as well. This is because your choices will impact both of you. But this doesn't mean that you're tied to a ball and chain. "It only means you have a companion with you for life. In fact, in your capacity as a spouse, you become your partner's caretaker, friend, confidante and even punching bag etc.


Arguments over money are bound to happen, so be prepared for it. And unless you establish some ground rules for dealing with financial issues, you will continue to have these arguments. Bear in mind that you are now a part of a unit, and no longer flying solo.

In - laws or outlaws?

if you thought that marriage is all about sharing your life with your significant other, think again, and this time, factor in your in - laws into the equation. When you're used to a particular lifestyle, moving in with your in - laws can be a rude shock. You will be required to make changes in your daily routine. Like waking up a little earlier to help around the house or rescheduling your plans on weekends or even modifying some of your eating habits. these might seem like an additional burden, particularly if you are a working woman. Remember to keep an open mind when it comes to handling your in - laws. They may be rigid in their ways, but there is always a way to work out a compromise.

Sharing space

Marriage involves sharing everything - whether it is sadness or glad tidings, chores or finance, which can be a difficult task. This is why marriage necessitates an equal contribution from both side. " Sharing is absolutely essential for a happy marriage,. Besides making it easier to run the show, it also brings you closer to your partner, and cement a bond in a way that only experience can.
Differnces of opinion

Shaadi brings two different individuals together, as well as two sets of arguments for everything. Remember that your husband is as new to the marriage and the relationship as you, and he is facing the same issue for the first time as well.Irrespective of the nature of the relationship, any two people are bound to have differences of opinion at some point of time, It is how you handle these differences that mtters. The best antidote for deviant interest lies in adapting to the situation. "Be carteful not to retaliate for the sake of it,"

Planning for the future

As a single independent working woman, you may be used to your lifestyle, going on holidays or splurging on the latest pair of Jimmy Choos. But married life is a journey and you need to plan carefully to get to your destination. "Planning is the key. Make sure you and your husband are on the same page as far as long - term goal are concerned," "Whether or not you plan to have a baby or deciding on investments for the future and are thing that you should discuss in advbance, if you want to avoid unpleasant surprises in you married life,"

Expressjodi said...

Brahmin Shaadi
Historically, the Brahmins in india were divided into two major groups based on geographical origin of the people. The Brahmin groups that lived to the north of the vindhyas were referred to as Dravida Brahmins. Each group was further divided into five sections according to the regions of their settlement.

The Sagaai or the engagement ceremony symbolises commitment However, the South Indian Brahmin do not lay stress on the presence of bride and the groom in their Sagaai, rather it focuses on commitment between the parents of the groom and the bride. 'Latto' i.e., 'engagement plate' Which consist of coconut, flowers, turmeric, betel leaves and betel nuts hold more importance, in their engagement ceremony. The Maithil Brahmin bride of bihar makes her wedding affair stand apart by receiving the blessing from the Dhobi's (washerman's) wife - a compulsory tradition in the Bihari Brahmin wedding.

In Haldi ceremony turmeric powder is mixed with milk, almond oil and sandalwood and applied to the bride and the groom. In Kashmiri Pandit this ceremony has a twist becuase cold, white yoghurt is poured on the bride as an alternative to haldi. ritual is followed by a special custom called Shankha (shell) Paula (coral) in bengali Brahmins, where seven married women embellish the bride's hand with red and white bangles, the shell is supposed to calm the bride and the coral is believed to
be beneficial for health. Mehndi is also applied on every bride's hands during the Mehndi ceremony. However, a Bengali Brahmin bride applies alta (red dye).

After the ceremonious arrival of the groom, the garlands are exchanged between the groom and the bride, while the priests chant mantras. Jaimala is the symbol of unifying two souls into one. But in tamil nadu, "Oonjal", a unique jaimala ceremony is performed and could be best decribed as a tug of war. In this ceremony, the women sing songs to encourage the bride and groom to exchange the garlands while the uncles persuade the soon to be couple not to Exchange the garlands.Before the ceremony of jaimala, the bride makes a majestic entry in Bengali weddings.

Mangal Phere
Fire is considered the most pious element in the Brahmin weddings and seven circles around that fire holds the seven promises that the nuptial couple make to each other amidst the Vedic mantras. The Brahmin wedding is deemed incomplete without the seven rounds around the sacred fire. Unlike other Brahmin weddings, in Gujarati weddings only four pheras are taken which are called the mangalpheras where the pheras represent four basic human goals of Dharma, Artha, Kama, and Miksha (religious, moral, prosperity and salvation). Likewise in Malayalee Brahmin weddings, pheras are taken only thrice.

Post wedding ceremony vidaai
After pheras, the bride's family and friend bid her teary vidaai (farewell). The Kashmiri pundits make their vidaai even more special. their charming ritual, "roth khabar" is performed on a saturday or tuesday after the wedding. In Roth
khabar, the bride's parents send a roth (bread decorated with nuts) to their son - in - law's family. But the bride accompanies She stay with her parents and returns only when someone from in laws comes to fetch her back.

Griha pravesh
The new bride is greeted by her mother - in - law with Arti and tilak. The bride, who is regarded as the Goddess laxmi, enters the groom's house after the groom's house after kicking rice - filled pot. In Kannada Brahmin marriages, the groom changes the name of his wife in the name change ceremony where he decides a name for his wife and inscribes it on a plate containing rice with a ring. In Bihar, a very strange ritual is performs at the groom's place.

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